Guys, I’m really stupid. From 23/6:

By now you’ve probably seen the clip of anchorwoman Sue Simmons, of WNBC-TV in New York, dropping the F-bomb during a live news promo. It’s still not entirely clear what Ms. Simmons was referring to when she asked her now-infamous question, but we think we know.

Check out this exclusive unreleased footage from the WNBC news studio:

I love being fully, frontally nude.

[23/6]

From VH1’s BestWeekEver.tv:

While you were playing Grand Theft Auto IV whilst driving a car at the same time someone was having the Best Night Ever! Careen around the corner with Max Silvestri as he shoots you the best Tuesday night TV moments from Hell’s Kitchen, Beauty and the Geek, Bad Girls Club, and Deion and Pilar, and American Idol!

Monday night’s Rock n ROFL was crazy fun. BrooklynVegan and Klaus Kinski assembled a great lineup and a great crowd, and it was a pleasure to host. And how nice: Louis CK stopped by and did like 20 minutes of new material. That made my job a whole lot easier. “Welcome, everybody. How are you all doing? Here is Louis CK, about to crush it with lots of new jokes about how shitty his kid and everybody else is.”

Read write-ups by BV and Klaus here and here. Also check out these very handsome pictures from the hat-wearing Bao Nguyen.

Louis CK hating something.

I’m pondering.

Greg Johnson loves lax. He’s probably yelling at his middy to feed it to the crease.

Kurt Braunohler might be my new roommate.

John Mulaney and I both had grapefruits at Egg for breakfast this morning. True story.

Happy Sex de Mayo, everybody.  Over at VH1’s BestWeekEver.tv I made fun of American Idol, Bad Girls Club and other really important television that will never be forgotten.

Here is neat live stuff in NYC this week.

• Tonight I am hosting BrooklynVegan & Klaus Kinski’s Rock n ROFL at Piano’s. It’s at like 9:15 or so.  I’ll be welcoming John Mulaney, Kurt Braunohler, Greg Johnson and the Perfect Storm. After that, enjoy delicious music by War on Drugs and the Acorns. It’s 10 bucks and you can buy tickets ahead of time.
• Tomorrow night, I Like Attention house band Sigmund Droid are throwing a Brooklyn Ski Club party at Crash Mansion that is going to be a crazy fun time. RSVP here.
• I’m performing at the amazing Totally J/K Thursday night, 8pm at Rififi.  Hosted by Joe Mande and Noah Garfinkel, I’ll be joking alongside Leo Allen and Dave Horwitz.

America’s great.

Did you read that New Yorker article about the guy who was trapped in an elevator for 41 hours? Did you watch the super creepy video showing the time-lapse security camera footage of said guy slowly going nuts-evator?  Coincidentally I too was recently stuck in an elevator.  Luckily, 23/6 was around to produce a video of the traumatic event with me.

Hi friends,

Join me tonight night for the long awaited (by me) return of I Like Attention to the now fully certified Sound Fix in Williamsburg.  I am making it extra special to reward America for all the frustrations they had to endure while the show was away.  I’ve got fun bits and videos and things planned, plus surprises.  (Surprise is another word for thing I haven’t prepared yet.) Joining me are:

John Mulaney (Late Night with Conan O’Brien)
Brett Gelman (Cracked Out, Little Bit of Luck)
Dave Hill (King of Miami, internet videos)
Craig Baldo (the television)
Kumail Nanjiani (critically revered Unpronounceable)

plus the exciting house band SIGMUND DROID and after-party beats by DJ Just Jed.

This one is going to be rocking. I hope you can come and laugh and drink and dance and stuff. Happy May Day.

Thursday, May 1st @ 8pm
Sound Fix
110 Bedford Ave @ N. 11th St
Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Just north of the Bedford L stop

My buddy Kyle Cease made a video a while ago called Melgicians magician tricks for magicians, and it’s finally online. It is one of my favorites. It is probably not safe for work?

I call blog readers “Twizzler-eating mouthbreathers” for VH1’s BestWeekEver.tv.

TV jokes! TV jokes!

[BestWeekEver.tv]