Even Blindees Love Before & After Pictures
Jun 7th, 2007 by Max
Sometimes the Internet takes you to strange places. Today I found myself at the website of “Reality Celebrity” Tina Dame. Jealous? She was on the ABC show Ex-Wives Club, which I have never seen but apparently involves disgruntled Ben & Jerry fans (i.e. divorced women) trying to rebuild their shattered man-less lives while also getting to set fire to their exes’ stuffed animals and perform other not-actually-cathartic acts. It is also hosted by three divorced celebrity women. (I imagine that the clever does not stop there.) I hope you are as bored as I am.
Now Tina just loves to blog blog blog, and in one of her posts she talks about her dramatic weight loss. She dropped about 60 pounds and for that I sincerely say “well done.” All this was fine and good until I saw that someone had left this comment:
Wait, what? My brain is melting. This commenter is blind and completely thought Tina looked gorgeous though not really because JPGs don’t have texture so her sighted friend described them and so then she just knew? “Ha haa” indeed, Loreal. I am literally elling oh ell. I honestly cannot fathom how someone (a blind someone) would need to suck up to famed Reality Celebirty Tina Dame so badly that they are compelled to lie about finding her gorgeous but then are not able to even follow through with that fib to the end of a paragraph. No wonder you can’t see. You have let down your people, Loreal, and by “people” I mean “blind fans of the Ex-Wives Club who enjoy blogs”.
On a related note, I wonder if deaf fans of Tina Dame ever comment, “That was hilarious, I am LOL! OK so I had to have my friend tell me that it was OL, but that doesn’t make a bit of a difference! Ha haa!”
Too soon?
she’s basically calling her ugly. if a blind person called me pretty, and then said…. but i’m blind hahahaha, the joke would be on me
Also, your blog is really funny! OK, I’m a retarded person and the funniest thing I can think of is yellow (the color), but that doesn’t make a bit of difference! Ha haa
Yellow is a reasonably funny color, don’t sweat it.
And thanks!
Dearest Max,
Yes this is the Alex you know, and yes, i have been SECRETLY READING YOUR WEBSITE. And I would just like to say this, because I am a big lesbian feminazi:
I watched that show, oh yes I did, and honestly, I felt for this poor girl. She got fat from medication and then her FAT HUSBAND (seriously, he was fat) dumped her. And what did she do? Packed his suitcase for him as left. Shar Jackson helped that woman get her life back, and I support them both.
Also, the other newly minted “celebrity” on that episode was a guy who had been in the military and he cried like a little fucking baby in his life-coaching sessions. Also, he had a weird bump on his head that Angie Everheart got removed for him.
In short: This show was an uplifting tale of female empowerment and men crying. Two thumbs up. That is all.
Alex,
As you saw the ep and I did not, you win fair and square. I applaud The One and Only Tina Dame for getting her fat act together and getting a better husband. I even found her blog weird and interesting enough to read past the title. Will I watch the show? MAYBE.
Also, even though I’m sure that she’s a little past her sell-by date and that she has had intercourse with Howard Stern, I still have a pretty intense thing for Angie Everheart deep down inside. (I bet you can guess where inside.)
None of this excuses crazy disabled pathologically lying blogfans, though.
Thanks to Alex for setting the story straight - Tina’s actually my best friend.
First of all - Loreal IS about 90% blind. Second, she also happens to be a REAL LIFE FRIEND of Tina’s - not a “suck up fan”.
Just so you know - that photo you stole from Tina’s site isn’t public domain… you might want to remove it (and your oh-so-witty commentary addition to it) from this site… like now.
While I’m sure it humors you to have me here, defending her and her site in this way, I might make it clear that I’m also the one who built the site for her… which means I’m also in close personal contact with her lawyer, and have copyright lawyers on my side as well. Take the pic down - you didn’t ask for permission, and there’s a very clear copyright notice on all pages of the site that prevent you from using it in any way, shape or form.
Aside from that…
While I can appreciate a humorous outlook on television, reality television to be more precise - you have absolutely no idea what Tina went through with her first marriage. PRIOR to marrying him (note: he used to be a bodybuilder, and I agree - he got fat after he left Tina - sweet revenge!) Tina was a model and actress. She weighed in at 113 lbs. on her wedding day, and hadn’t been higher than that in her whole life before getting endometriosis and having to take steroids. Shame on you for being clueless…
What’s NOT funny in this post is your generalizations and hurtful words on a woman who’s been through more hell in her life than to deserve your crap. (Ditto to your insults on Loreal… )
Dear Max, Alex, and Lara I guess,
I felt like writing because I saw part of the episode, so I’m like halfway between Alex and Max. Shades of gray.
Max, I think you should really follow up on that bump-head guy. He was a dick to his DAUGHTER (who was sort of cute and really liked Disney Land) because he felt insecure (about having a BUMP on his head… that’s not as big a problem as being overweight, is it?). WTF. I don’t even know why the Ex-Wives bothered with that shit.
But back to the thing I meant to say, “Ha haa” definitely makes Loreal’s whole message a joke. Which leads me to believe that she is using “gorgeous” to mean something else. Yes, something less complimentary.
Love,
Barbara
PS Max, I really hope you don’t take that picture down. Maybe someone should tell Lara that if you appear on reality TV you’re never not going to be a joke again unless we’re talking about COPS.
Barbara - I’m sorry but he didn’t take the photo, and has absolutely no rights to post it, edit it, reproduce it, or even so much as save it to his hard drive. Take a check on copyright law before you assume things like rights - the photo’s not, and never has been public domain - he took it FROM her website - not some supermarket rag. Using it in any manner violates the copyright laws protecting Tina’s website and we’re giving him until Monday morning to take it down before sending the cease and desist letter from the lawyer’s office.
Maybe someone should tell Max that making fun of someone for something you don’t even understand isn’t humor - it’s actually libel, and just not something to be respected. I happen to have many friends who are comics, two of whom own a comedy club (which Max will NEVER work in, I assure you) - never in life have I heard them, or any other comedian bash a REAL person for something like this. Paris Hilton, yes… fine. But to make statements like this is wrong in so many ways, even aside from the fact that he had no idea how or why she really gained the weight…
And apparently you didn’t read what I said about Loreal… Loreal is a REAL LIFE FRIEND of Tina’s. She is 90% blind. Her “ha haa” was nothing more than the joke about her being blind and saying that Tina looked gorgeous on the post with photos. She’s seen her IN PERSON since the damn show.
One more thing - “The guy with the bump” - you obviously didn’t watch the whole show - he wasn’t a dick to his daughter because of the bump - he had the thing his whole life. He made some mistakes when signing divorce/custody papers and the ex wife moved 3 hours away. Is that a reason not to see his kid? No way. But get your damn story straight… what is it with people attacking others because of their physical bodies, rather than for who they are? Why not pick on Lindsay Lohan? Too pretty for ya?
Max - The lawyer’s waiting for my go ahead. Do the right thing and take the photo down. It’s not about your misunderstanding her story, or the words you used in your post (afterall, that only shows your lack of empathy for others) - mainly because of the first amendment. However using someone else’s property AT ALL (especially to do harm to that person) is illegal.
I didn’t watch the show and don’t care about this chick, but Lara seems kind of crazy to me.
Dear Crazy Sandwich (Lara that is my nickname for you),
I changed the picture so that it is no longer taken from REALITY CELEBRITY TINA DAME’S amazingly mediocre website you designed.
Please continue to threaten me with libel, as you so clearly understand the law. Satire is protected, but more importantly, if you had saved enough lunch money to keep a lawyer on retainer, I would have already received a cease and desist letter, not two public rambling blog comments.
Good luck with your career and your Pot O’Gold, though. You are the real deal. I will try to continue my comedy career despite my blacklisting.
Also, I am now going to write a post about Tina Dame once a week so that I remain in the top 3 google results for her name. You are really good at reputation management, Lara!
Lara, as a plus-sized modeling agent, I came across this post hoping to discover a fresh new face for the plus-sized world. The new “Emme”, if you will. Sadly, even if you got down to an actual size 12 (honey, I know, it’s hard), your close-ups just don’t make the cut. I say this as a fellow “big girl”…our faces need to be that much more camera-ready. You skin, your complexion…we have to fight harder. Have you considered a career behind the camera? We might need a few extra hands on our next shoot, and I’d love to hire someone who knows “what it’s like” on a daily basis — and someone who brings attitude-free energy to the set. Interested?
Max,
Maybe you think making fun of the celebrities of TV is funny, but the only thing standing between you and a copyright lawyer is me, the close personal friend of a celebrity of TV. The copyright lawyer is just waiting for the high sign — from me. My chubby finger is on the launch button that will fire lawyers at you.
The crushing burden of that responsibility is my cross to bear, Max Silvestri. But my father taught me never to point the lawyer gun unless I mean to shoot lawyers at somebody, and also never to reholster it until it’s drawn blood — like a Samurai sword that shoots lawyers at people. You’ve been warned.
Because I could care less about anything else posted here on your site, by anyone else, I’m writing this comment to sincerely and honestly thank you for removing the pic you stole from Tina’s website. I have no reason to pursue legal action at this point - I sure hope we can keep it that way.
Thanks Max,
Lara Kulpa
Dear Lara,
I know this won’t be a popular opininion on this site, but I wanted to let you know that I totally see where you’re coming from. Max is a very dear friend of mine, so I hope he can receive this as constructive criticism, and, Max, I really hope I’m not crossing the line by posting this on your website, but the issue is just too important for me to keep my thoughts to myself.
See, Lara, the thing you have to understand about Max is that he’s an only child, and you know what that can foster in a young mind, especially one as keen and probing as Max’s.
Also, Max has this simple, conventional preoccupation with “not being a lunatic,” and he holds doggedly on to the notion that “the free exchange of ideas and images on the internet is inconsequential to someone who’s life is already a pitiable self-parody,” so that’s probably why he crossed you and your delightfully plump friend.
But you stuck to your guns and, when he did the honorable thing and took the picture down, you were the bigger man, and found it in your heart to thank him. I know you tried not to call attention to how sanguine and unruffled you are in the face of all this sniping (you’re a class-act, lady), but I thought I sensed a hint of triumph in your phrase “I could care less about anything else posted here on your site” (and thank you for being so specific about the location to which you were referring, with “posted here on your site;” a lot of us would have gotten confused otherwise). That triumph is rightfully yours, and no one, no matter how “first amendment-y,” can take that away from you.
I sincerely hope that my misguided friend will, indeed, give you no further provocation to thoughtful, productive, fully-justified threats of legal action. He’s learning, and you are now one in a long line of teachers.
I still love you, Max, but let’s keep it above the belt, yes?
Max
I was directed here from Tim McIntire’s site. I just read this thread, and I have to say I’m disappointed you took down that photo. I think someone should ask Lara if she knows what “fair use” means, especially as related to parody. I’m sure you have better things to do with your time than to be a poster child for fair use, but I can’t stand bullies, especially when they’re 100 percent wrong.
“there’s a very clear copyright notice on all pages of the site that prevent you from using it in any way, shape or form.” Nice try, Lara. Did your fleet of lawyers give you that shitty advice?
Funny post, though.
“even deaf bitches say hi to me– she tell a blind bitch and she say i gotta see.” -weezy f.
[…] out what’s going down in one of my posts’ comment sections. I have been threatened with legal action by REALITY CELEBRITY TINA DAME’S internet […]